Skip to main content

in your skin

Happy in your skin. Simple isn't it? Well yes and no.

In the end that is all that matters and after all the reflecting and thinking that is the ultimate objective is it not?

You are living day to day and you need to function and be relatively content with who you are. No life is not perfect and the many challenges will come our way but if you are armed with self awareness and love for who you are inside you can manage quite a lot.

Being happy in one's own skin can take a very long time and since we all carry baggage it can be at times daunting to get there but that is what is required of us if we are to be loving partners, parents and employees.

Dysphoric or not, we all need to find the core of what makes us tick. Whether it be through spiritual means, meditation or psychological treatments we need that reflective time for self examination and study.

Out of that work will come a whole human being.

Getting there opens the pores of the mind and heart and allows you to think more clearly than you ever thought possible and with that will come the answer for how to deal with the feelings.

It all starts with the reset button of letting go of excessive weights we have carried all our lives. Once we drop those we can breathe and really allow for that long hard look in the mirror.Certainly it should be a prerequisite before considering something like a transition.

The reflection looking back may be someone you barely recognize.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

the pseudoscience behind gender dysphoria

The real science as to what causes gender dysphoria still awaits.

Harry Benjamin was on to something except he didn’t have the scientific evidence to back up his suspicions hence, like a true scientist, he negated to draw conclusions. His hunch, based on treating so many patients over his lifetime, was that one is born with a predisposition to be gender dysphoric.

However, with inconclusive brain scans and no DNA marker (as of yet) we are left with believing the word of people who need help and only want to lead happy and productive lives.

The best we have been able to muster since Benjamin's death in 1986 was to amass statistics on who gets a boner imagining themselves as a woman which is in equal parts pathetic and disappointing. For this is not really science at all but is instead playing with interview data that doesn't point to anything definitive or conclusive. I have dealt with this problem at great length in my blog.

The whole thing started with Kurt Freund's obses…

looking past cross gender arousal

Jack’s latest Crossdreamers post got me thinking about cross gender arousal and how it could be avoided; also whether it even matters. This with particular focus on the inability to relate of someone on the outside looking in.

You see, sexuality is a very complicated thing to begin with and when you then add gender identity ambiguity it becomes a recipe to really confuse someone.

So imagine that you are a little boy who identifies as a girl but then along comes puberty and short circuits everything by having the sex you identify with also be the sex you are attracted to. For in essence this is what happens to all all male to female gender dysphoric trans persons who are attracted to women.

So I ask myself: can I imagine a scenario where this inherent contradiction would not produce sexual confusion? The answer is that I cannot.

I am in the unique position, like many of you, to have experienced an early identification with the feminine become sexualized later on. This brought confusion…

understanding the erotic component

I have written about crossed wires before in two separate posts. The idea is that one cannot pass through puberty and the development of sexual feelings for females and not have your pre-existing gender dysphoria be impacted through your psychosexual development. The hormone responsible for your libido is testosterone which is present in much stronger concentration in males and is why gynephilics are most likely to experience erotic overtones as the conflict between romantic external feelings and their pull towards the feminine become permanently intertwined.

Because I came from a deeply religious family where sex was not discussed much at all, I grew up with little access to information and was very much ignorant of matters relating to the subject. With no firsthand experience in intercourse until I married I was then faced with the reality that my ability to perform sexually had been deeply impacted by my dysphoric feelings. This began years of turmoil and self-deprecating thoughts …