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framing language

People who are opposed to transgender people are used to thinking in reverse. They use language such as the “transgender agenda” to decry the forcing of our acceptance into society as if we were creating new rules for them. Instead of simply asking for tolerance to lead our own lives as we desire, we are akin to an invading army. But then insisting on rights which do not affect anyone else wouldn’t be as powerful an argument for these dogmatic conservatives.

When you frame a plea for tolerance as an imposition we suddenly become a conquering enemy instead of an oppressed group. Hence, using a woman’s toilet suddenly becomes about infringing on women’s rights rather than a desire on our part not to be victimized in the men's room. Our argument should be common sense to a rational person but we are not dealing with rational people here.

Painting transgender people as a group wanting to impose itself on others is far easier and allows for argumentation that encourages our continued o…
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uniqueness

We are all so incredibly unique that we don’t realize it until we are older. Those younger years are spent trying to fit in and find our way in this strange world of ours.

Some of us tend to be more pleasers than others as we grapple to find a public persona that we can sell to society. It is only after many years have passed that we realise we should have been establishing and emphasizing our uniqueness from the outset rather than our conformity.

It’s easy from where I sit now to speak like this and I am so impressed by young individuals who manage to establish an honest reflection of their identity early on. They may face resistance but they insist and finally earn a grudging respect from people who normally wouldn't approve of them.

Not everyone is going to like or accept you but then this isn’t the aim of life and neither is it to stand out for its own sake. The aim is to claim authenticity and be yourself which is much easier said than done. The type of parenting we received …

the measuring stick

Jack Molay brought to my attention a paper written by Charles Moser on the topic of paraphilias called “Paraphilias and the ICD-11: Progress but Still Logically Inconsistent”.

In this paper, Dr. Moser examines some of the logic (or lack thereof) of labeling conditions as paraphilias while others are not. The Working Group on the Classification of Sexual Disorders and Sexual Health (WGSDSH) is charged with reviewing and recommending changes for categories related to sexuality in the International Classifications of Diseases and Related Health Problems (ICD), published by the World Health Organization (WHO). Moser then questions the distinguishing between what is and is not a paraphilia and the criteria used.

For example he states:

• What is the rationale for diagnosing individuals distressed about their ‘‘atypical’’ sexual arousal with a Paraphilic Disorder, but not to diagnose individuals who are distressed about their homosexual or bisexual sexual orientation?
• Are atypical sexual…

at the pool

My ability to do laps has been improving and I can do more of them with less effort. My going to the pool lately has been driven by a desire to shed some weight gained while in Toronto and I thought it would be now or never in presenting as Joanna. It is also driven by a desire to stay more fit as I age.

I bought a speedo type suit and after doing my best version of a proper tuck at home I found that it held extremely well during my swim. So while I will still keep the suit with the flared skirt, this one is actually better fitting and more comfortable. So now I have done one more thing as a woman which I was always fearful of attempting.

Once again I am chatty with the ladies in the locker room and with the lifeguards so I gather I am having no issues with passing. If anyone would have complained about me I suppose I would have heard by now since I have encountered all generations of females thus far.

After my latest swim I took this picture in which I am wearing the new suit.


the right medicine

Trump has exceeded even my own low expectations of him as an oafish and embarassing buffoon and he must be making it exceedingly hard for even the FOX News apologists to look beyond his glaring lack of competency. No doubt there must be gnashing of teeth under those false television smiles.

The truth has gotten out and even the lowest educated voters must be finally getting the picture that this is a train wreck waiting to happen.

The right in America is in shambles and the uneasy marriage of old school fiscal conservatives with rabid alt-right racists must not be an easy thing. I would hate to be a libertarian and hold my nose and have voted for an idiot over Hillary no matter how unsavoury she might have been.

The Democrats are also in disarray and have sacrificed their principles at the altar of Wall Street and dirty NRA money. The only hope left for Congress now is an invasion of politically motivated millennials to come take over the reins.

The great American experiment is at a…

why me?

Feeling sorry for oneself sometimes is quite normal and the mind can bemoan where our life has ended up and how things could have been different. If this did not happen to us we would not be human and there is no easy way to fight it sometimes other than just let the thoughts linger for a while and then dissipate with a change of mood.

This type of self-pity is a form of indulgence we permit ourselves on occasion until we realize how fortunate we are to be healthy and relatively happy and that the grass is most definitely not greener on the other side. We can see how an online platform like Facebook has succeeded in cornering the market on making some individuals feel inadequate and played on the human instinct to compare ourselves to others.

This aspect of the human condition is not going to disappear but being aware of it and trying to suppress its power is hopefully a natural part of gaining maturity as we travel deeper into life. Feelings may be hard to control but by letting them…

avoiding a life unfulfilled

Many baby boomers have lived with dysphoria their entire lives but have yet to begin living authentically. I can tell you that as hard as it was for me to get here, it has been truly worth it and it has done my internal happiness a world of good.

The first steps are difficult but once you get going there is no turning back and every little victory adds to the experience and joy of being yourself. Don't wait to come clean to others and realize that as scary as things may look, it is far scarier to have lived an entire life with unfulfilled dreams of being the person you are inside. At this point I cannot imagine taking even one step backwards and wish you the courage to always move forward in a direction that honours your identity as a transgender person.

Intolerance is everywhere on this planet and it is often brutally ugly. People are killed everyday simply for being different and being true to themselves. All the more reason to never let anyone tell you how to live. I know that …