Skip to main content

Posts

sometimes on the cusp

There are always more pangs of jealousy in the summer.

The dresses and the shoes are almost tempting you to run home and change and come back as you want but then reality brings you back. I am on that cusp where sometimes I ask myself if I am living a lie or whether I am just kidding myself to ever think I could transition to full time living.

There is no right or wrong answer of course and in Quebec it only takes filling in a form and having a witness who knows you attest that you are serious and your gender marker is on its way to being changed.

Many of us have been on that cusp where we are sure and then suddenly we are not and another 6 months go by. But I am on my own timeline and no one else’s.

I have 5 years to go before reaching 60 and then something will happen or it won’t as I don’t intend to rock the boat before. But then there is that call from a headhunter that has you reflecting on a new job with a different identity and the possibilities linger on. I then ask myself if …
Recent posts

home of the whopper

a problem for our times

I clicked on one of those videos that pops up on your YouTube homepage.

It was a TED talk on how to cope in a sexless marriage; what happens when one doesn't have the same libido as the other partner and how to deal with the frustration and hurt feelings that inevitably follow. It reminded me how intrinsically complicated human relationships are.

In fact I don’t believe there is anything more steeped in mystery than a couple trying to wade through life with a coherent vision that allows for their marital longevity. At least I cannot claim any personal understanding.

This woman, who professed a certain expertise in dealing with marriages that were faltering saw her parents' disintegrate after 23 years of never fighting; her mother surprised the family one day by saying she wasn't happy and wanted a divorce. The TED talk audience was told that this had helped her decide her life calling where she could deal with these marital problems of communication and had a certain succ…

not thinking things through...

I pass better than some transgender women and have been using the ladies room without incident for many years except according to India Willoughby I shouldn’t be doing that since I don’t have female parts. India would rather I use the men’s room instead.

Ms. Willoughby conveniently forgets that some trans women start off identifying as crossdressers and that some don’t have GRS for years if at all. But she would rather they risk bodily injury or simply hold it till they get home. By doing so she is aligning herself with conservatives who already see all transgender people as mental defectives.

Way to go India. Now that you have transitioned you have become elitist and apparently also obtuse.

If we remember our history bathrooms were not divided by gender in the US until the late 19th century and somehow society survived and, until we start seeing physical attacks on women by crossdressers, we can then debate the merits of Ms. Willoughby's grand idea which only helps fuel the enemi…

"To One in Paradise"

Music and lyrics by Alan Parsons and Eric Woolfson

IF I could see the sky above
And my mind could be set free
As wild white horses reached the shore
I'd stand alone and oversee

And if the bush before me burns
Should I turn my eyes away
And still the voices I can hear
As clear to me as light of day

I believed in my dreams
Nothing could change my mind
Now I know what they mean
How could I be so blind

Cold sands of time
Sounds that come in the night
Shall hide what is left of me
Come from Paradise

I've been through times when no one cared
I've seen clouds in empty skies
When one kind word meant more to me
Than all the love in Paradise

I believed in my dreams
Nothing could change my mind
Till I found what they mean
Nothing can save me now.....

"...And all my days are trances,
And all my nightly dreams
Are where thy grey eye glances,
And where thy footstep gleams
In what ethereal dances,
By what eternal streams" (Edgar Allan Poe)


surprise surprise

Well look who is opposing Bill C-16 which would enshrine the terms gender identity and expression into the Canadian code of human rights it's none other than Jordan Peterson. The University of Toronto professor argues that biology entirely determines gender identity and uses a freedom of expression defense to call a spade a spade to allow him to deny the use of preferred pronouns. Except that Peterson is way above his head in these waters and isn't nearly well versed enough in gender theory to be able to make unequivocal statements.

The ideological movement to blame for oppressing his right to free speech is of course the transgender lobby who has the audacity to ask him to be politically correct. Now where have we heard that before? Oh yes in every conservative's talking points.

Presumably this would mean that Peterson would prefer to address a transgender woman like Janet Mock as sir or him based on his preference of a biological determinant.

I know where Peterson is go…

culmination

Would I ever live full time? This is a question I have asked myself of late.

I have no strong desire to tamper with my body and I don't think that hormones would add any more authenticity to my transgender nature. I mostly “pass” in the eyes of society although that doesn't really matter that much to me. So I suppose the only question remaining is whether I would ever transition socially to full time.

One reason to do that would be to live and dress the way I want all the time and not need to switch back and forth. Not that I hide very much these days as I am out to anyone who matters to me. My daughter over breakfast the other day said she would get used to the change and was relieved to hear that no matter what I would always be her dad. My son didn't have that much to say which was negative but also chimed in that it would be an adjustment. I don't want to surprise them in any way as they deserve to be part of my thought process on this.

There is no internal conflic…