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hoops

During one of my lovely dinners with Rhonda Williams, I recall her telling me how she preferred to wear hoop earrings which really suit her.

I have rarely worn that style but then the other day I was at a Claire's store and Christine, who is the store manager and knows me quite well, thought that they looked good on just about everyone. So I followed her advice and bought an inexpensive pair which were on sale.

Well I am glad I did because I have tended to opt for white pearls but it was time to mix things and I also think they modernize my look a bit.



Recent posts

magical mystery tour

This same bus was seen running through the streets of Madrid with its blunter message that “boys have penises and girls have vaginas. Don’t be deceived”

This advertisement for intolerance, which belies intelligence on this subject is now in Manhattan parked in front of the UN building and says something slightly different in English:

“Its biology…Boys are boys and always will be and girls are girls and always will be. You can’t change sex. Respect all”

Never mind that message is written by people who understand nothing and most importantly are confusing gender identity with sexual organs and I won’t surprise you by telling you it has been funded by 3 right wing conservative groups one of whom is called the National Organization for Marriage.

Of the Spanish version, one Madrid councilman declared it the “bus of shame,” and city officials ordered it removed from the streets for violating a traffic law restricting advertising on private vehicles.

“We need a discussion about how to respec…

beyond the prime directive

If we remove the respective procreation functions of men and women from the equation what does sex and gender mean and how does our internal sense of where we belong on the spectrum develop?

It appears that it may be innate and, as Harry Benjamin pointed out, after the age of four that gender identification cannot be altered. The unfortunate case of David Reimer helped us understand this and his forced gender reassignment advocated by John Money did not work because, in spite of being reared as a girl, his internal sense of gender was always male.

This is one way we have come to know that male to female transsexualism is real and why the identification of these children is unwavering and cannot be impacted via psychotherapy. Only the individual's own refusal of self acceptance and intensity of dysphoria will help determine an outcome.

Conversion therapy on strongly dysphoric children doesn’t work and the now retired CAMH practitioner Kenneth Zucker may or may not have had succes…

happy

The World Happiness Report is a measure of happiness published by the United Nations Sustainable Development Solutions Network.

In these reports, leading experts in several fields like economics, psychology, survey analysis, national statistics, and more describe how measurements of well-being can be used effectively to assess the progress of nations. Each report is organized by chapters that delve deeper into issues relating to happiness, including mental illness, the objective benefits of happiness, the importance of ethics, policy implications, etc.

Well the 2017 the results are in and not too surprisingly the northern European nations are among the happiest in the world with their good quality of life, health care system and relatively clean environments. As in other European countries, most people work to live instead of living to work and profit from generous vacation policies which must undoubtedly contribute towards increased longevity.

I am proud to say that Canada is number …

status report

Merging myself into a whole person has taken me a while but I am finally getting there. What it required was being honest with myself and looking inward with a mindset devoid of shame or guilt.

Listening to others is fine once you have a plan going forward but, in my opinion, the reflection is best done alone and without outside influences. The hardest part for me was the de-deprogramming process of removing the layers of old wallpaper lining my psyche.

The other evening I had dinner with my almost 19 year old daughter and when I brought up whether it bothered her that I was trans she simply said:

“Not at all and I know how hard it must have been growing up in the 60’s and 70’s”

This generation really gets it.

Now that she is older I am sure I would get her blessing if I ever felt I needed to go further. My son is another question but irrespective of what his feelings would be on the subject, transition for me would be at most social hence it wouldn’t influence him when we are togeth…

after the carnage

No the fascism that plagued Europe in the early 20th century isn't coming back. After all, that included an important element of expansionism and killing or imprisoning of dissenters. However where the overlap lies is in the blaming of immigrants for what ills a nation.

In places like eastern Europe we are seeing a stronger response from what used to be fringe groups. France has its own nationalist party under Marine Le Pen and even after Brexit you began to see chest beating among Britons who pined for a more monolithic culture before their emerald isle was invaded by foreigners.

The United States under that insufferable windbag Donald Trump is now appealing to low brow sentiment through the smoke screen of blaming media, the courts and immigrants for the nation’s malady. Let's recall that Hitler’s early foray into power saw the same attempts at discrediting the Jewish media and indeed chief propagandist Joseph Goebbels was charged with the campaign to undermine their credibi…

open to being surprised

I think that the secret to life isn’t about getting what you think you want but rather about gaining wisdom to deal with the reality we have been given.

After all, how much about your life and your circumstances do you actually get to choose. Yes we pick friends or our spouse but even then the reality is that each of those comes with their own set of constraints.

What people today call mindfulness is really the old axiom of living in the present with the knowledge that much of what we hope or even dread will happen usually doesn't.

I don’t see this as fatalistic but rather as a positive way to navigate the circumstances you have been cast into while being open to discovery. It is about making the best of the road you are on.

So while you may not have perfectly chosen your path, you can choose your outlook and be open to the surprises which might be in store.